The Frog Blog

I have arrived outside Freeport. I am a Killer of Orcs.

The Qeynos liars who said they'd take me to Freeport betrayed me into the hands of the Queen! The penalty in Qeynos for even thinking of taking a boat to Freeport is death, and the Queen is too weak to execute the guilty party herself.

I'll take banished for life over that city though, with it's holier than thou breed of my kind, and it's insanely lazy barbarians. People who cheat you for rewards, expect you to run all over the map for a minor amount of coppers. Bastards, all of them, except Matsy who's a good cook, and they're all going to pay.

First though, I've got to gain entry to Freeport. More orcs on the menu.

Today I spoke with Zecron. He showed me that his way is better than the Qeynos way. I must go to him. The road will be long, but I shall persevere. He is mighty, and I shall be mighty too. No more running and fetching for the lazy folk of Qeynos.

This morning Kruuprum asked me to go to Greystone Yard to fetch him a bag of daggers. He seemed like a nice guy, so I said that I would. He was in the same shop that Norraths Laziest Barbarian stands outside of.

Later I found myself in Oakmyst Forest, trying to learn how to speak to the Fay. They weren't being cooperative, to the point that I earned the rank of Fay Killer before finding one single clue. After fighting with the Fay for a while I suddently felt stronger, and I realized that I knew more than I had known before. It was time to leave, perhaps to see the ocean.

I have been promised riches in return for slaying rats, snakes and some kind of bug that resembles my pet. The rats quicky fell before my lightning and pet, the snakes followed soon after. Reckless slaughter of Jaserers relatives gives me pause, but if this is the price Qeynos demands then I shall pay.

For slaying the kin of my trusty servant I am paid a pitance. Given the run-around, and not paid my due. At least Matsy Rollingpin pays well, good solid food there.

The Horak is slacking, please stay tuned.

Spent some time killing rats and snakes. And sparrows. Wouldn't want rats and snakes to infest the great city of Qeynos, would we? And no bird poop either. I'm doing a great service here.

Found a brass key that some rat had been carrying around. Turns out that it's for the door in the basement of the lighthouse. The mage types tell me that I'm 'level 9' and let me tell you, the folk in the basement of the lighthouse looked like some rough folk, and they didn't appear to like me at all. This frog isn't sticking around for that, no way.

The Qeynos mage guy had said that after I advance far enough I'd be able to summon something. The guy came across as something of a nit, didn't say what. But as I found out after killing yet another moat rat, it's to be a beatle. Not the singing kind thankfully, but the kind that will fetch me a beer or mindlessly attack something I don't want to get terribly close to. Sweet.

What a big city. I don't know where I came from, some boat found me in the ocean and dropped me off on the Starter Isle. Qeynos seems big though, so wherever I come from must be small.

Everyone seems nice, but nearly everybody wants me to do something for them. What a bunch of slackers. Still, they pay me. One barbarian paid me to walk from the outside of a building to the inside and back again. What a chump.

This mage thing is neat. I can root things in place so they can't get to me, then I can blast them from afar. The mage-people tell me that I'm doing really well in my studies, and they even tested me to see what kind of mage I should be. Summoning sounds right to me, I can get my pets to fetch me beer an whatnot. How sweet is that? A bolt of lightning never got anyone a beer.

Things went swimmingly. The people I met were nice. One of them told me I had to get pounded on by things, sneak around, heal people when they get in trouble, or stand back and blast things. What kind of a choice is that? Blast things all the way.

There was plenty to do trying to stop the crazy goblins, but once I heard of the nasty orc I fled the island as fast as I could hop. That guy sounded scary, he is able to keep some hundred odd goblins under control, and they expect little ol' me to take care of him? I think not.

I am Horak, and I am a frog.