Monday, May 22, 2006



The frog is enjoying semi-retirement. Apparently chicks don't dig undeath. What they DO dig is somebody who'll stand up for their buddies and take a beating like you can't believe. Just stand there and get beat on like an egg destined for an omlet. Idiots.

I'll sit back and order my pets to fetch me drinks and snacks, thank you very much.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


Kingdom of Serverdown

The Horak has been waiting for the erudites to bring back the spires. Instead they have destroyed the world. Their plans to expand their knowledge have doomed us all to some sort of limbo, where the only things that exist have names like 'jobs' and 'bills' and 'dishes' and other names along those lines.

Maybe these erudites can figure out a way to make my bills go away. After all, if they can remove an entire world from existance surely they can make such a small thing happen.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Crocodiles and Blades

I am on the cusp of earning the trust of the Blades faction of Maj'Dul. Unfortnunatly, they, like most other factions, employ repetitive tasks as a measure of worth. So The Horak and Sparky have slain caiman after croc after caiman. Rumor has it that the head of the Blades is a bit wacko, which is perfect. I'll gain their trust, take over the leadership, then make each and every one kill crocs all day, every day.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


Hot Out Here

The Horak has arrived in the desert. It's hot. And there are some factions of dervish who don't like each other. I'm gonna like it here, and so will Sparky.

Saturday, October 22, 2005


Lazy Dwarf

In true Qeynos tradition, a lazy dwarf demands that The Horak collect for him a rediculous amount of wood and ore. What is it with Qeynos? That down should be called Yzal. After looking for his stupid ore for two days, it has be be the rarest metal on Norrath. No wonder he wants it, he's going to get rich and all The Horak gets is a pair of old slippers.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


The Horak Demands Status

The Horak requires status. Can't have this moping about in dirty off the rack threads, no. The Horak must have status robes speacially tailored for his figure.

Unfortunately this means that The Horak must call his minions away from their other duties, and The Horak himself must leave Splitpaw. Those dogs will all be dead before Horak returns, I'm sure of it. Foolish puppies.

It seems the way to earn status is to find things that one moron or another lost in ages past. The Horak can do this.

Sunday, October 09, 2005


Gnolls. Minions.

While I continue to provide much needed aid to the gnolls of Splitpaw, I have minions scouring the surface of Norrath for the components I need to create powerful spells. How would the gnolls survive without my aid? They wouldn't. What would my foolish minions be doing if I wasn't here to order them about? Nothing. All is better due to my actions.

Monday, September 12, 2005


Gnolls. Many gnolls.

I have discovered a broken shard, and it has led me to Thundering Stepps (pronounced 'steeeps' according to an expert). The shard led me to a band of stupid gnolls clustered around some wierd rocks. Sneaking behind them, I found myself in a cave. Along with Zecron and Jober, invisibility is my friend.

Unsuspecting one of such cunning as mine, I ambushed the leader of this pitiful band of dogs, slaying him and taking his precious key to unlock his precious chest. Inside I found a new shard, better than the original. It's mine now.

Time passes and I find myself ready to conquer a new hole of dogs. But why conquer them myself when I can use a proxy? Yes, I was abled to casually stroll through this pit of gnolls and none dared lay a hand on me. They feared my 'companions,' people I met outside the hole who I told to take me into the depths. The gnolls must fear my manipulative skills, and well they should.

Sunday, September 11, 2005



My training is complete. Or just begun. The filth in Fallen Gate has served me well.

Saturday, September 10, 2005


Changes In The Wind

Something is coming, and I don't know what. I must become stronger to face it? Where is Zecron?

My journey has brought me to Fallen Gate. What a hole. I'll endevor to clear the vermin from the entranceway. Didn't Dark Elves live here long ago? I'll have to ask Zecron about that. I can see why they left.

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